Often there were days when my Mom would tell me “Tumhare andhar bohat ehsaas hai, aur yeh ehsaas kabhi kabhi ghuttan deti hai.“ She was saying “you carry too much emotion, and sometimes this much emotion can be overwhelming; it can be stifling.” I would laugh her off and say that I am absolutely fine the way I am. Now, years later, I sit here upset because I know a friend who is going through something tragic and I can’t stop thinking about her. Just a day ago, I was overflowing with joy because I found out my relatives from Pakistan were finally coming to NY soon to be with us. Life is just a carousel of emotions, and we are just visitors, going round and round.
For the past week I’ve been dealing with heartbreak of a different kind. All these emotions all at once in my heart has been overwhelming, and I find solace in my prayers but also in the sweet melody of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. I press play, put my head down, and drown the world away. Moments like these make you wonder, which of the two extremes would you rather be, someone who feels too much, or someone who feels nothing at all? What is life but a fleeting glimpse of emotions, heartache, love, sadness and death. As I sit here with a heavy heart, a whirlwind of thoughts brewing in my mind, I thought it best to convey this message to the universe and see how you all feel.
How do you deal with caring and loving too much? Is it better to love immensely, or not love at all?